Wild and crazy stuff from a wild and crazy world
WHY SHOUD JEN WORRY ABOUT HER XBRAD AN ANGIE? SHE IS THE MOST PRETTY ONE SHE NEVER CHEATED LIKE HE DID IT IS HIS LOST! SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER DATE! CUMON PEOPLE BRAD IS OVER SHE KNOWS SHE WILL GET BETTER THEN A CHEATTING X? I PRAY SHE NEVER GOES BACK TO A CHEATER CUZ ONCE IS ENOUGH! PLUSE SHE DON'T NEED HIS PACKAGE? SHE CAN START HER OWN FAMILY WHEN SHE WANTS! ANY WAYS HOW CAN ANY WOMAN BREAK UP A MARRIAGE?AND THEN HOW CAN ANGIE TRUST HIM? HE DID IT TO JEN?WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND.JENNIFER SHE IS THE BEST SHE IS A TROOPER EVERYTIME YOU SEE HER SHE FOREVER HAS A PRETTY SMILE ON HER FACE? WHO CAN KNOW IF BRAD EVER HURTED HER SHE SHOWED NO INTREST IF SHE HAD GOT HURT?. I KNOW IT DID HURTED THATS WHY SHE CAN'T TRUST ANYONE THAT COMES CLOSE TO HER ******* OK THAT ONE MAN WILL OPEN UP HER HEART AGAIN?I BEEN THERE I KNOW THE WAY SHE FEELS.BUT TRUST WILL COME BACK IN YOUR HEART?YOU WILL FEEL IT LIKE IF IT IS THE FIRST TIME AGAIN?I HOPE I EXPLAIN IT RIGHT BUT JEN WILL KNOW.
An impassioned online response to the red carpet event at this year's Oscars
La Giettaz, France, welcomes you
From the streets of Brixton
HOLLYWOOD & HIGHLAND
charlie chaplin pretends to be reading aleister crowley. actually, he's just talking to himself. behind his back outside the window, the kiss guy is playing with his fake stick-out tongue, constantly readjusting it as if on meth and rediscovering a piercing. he's swaying to a kylie minogue tune in a pace so peaceful and slow it makes you think of ancient religion.
the kiss guy slurps the last of his ice coffee to go. he's not a loner like charlie, there's the little guy leaning over to exchange words and smokes. it's chucky, already scaring bystanders as he puts on his mask.
the break is over, captain america is waiting. batman is late, hauling himself uphill while the sweat pours down his waxed thighs under his black plastic cape.
the summer hasn't even started yet on hollywood and highland. – Safy
DUMP is about my family home and how a few years ago my brother turned our property into the Quadra Island dump.
He was a garbage man and he started bringing garbage home to our mother's house and dumping it. The government cleaned it up and charged my mom $30,000 for the service, almost ruining her life.
The worst part was the curious people trying to peek in on our misery as we picked bits of trash from the dirt and hauled away the stuff the government wouldn’t touch. We had to put a chain fence up on our driveway, locks on the house doors and No Trespassing signs at the property lines for the first time in 20 years.
But the cool thing is that even after toxic waste and garbage sat there for months and the government removed the first couple feet of topsoil, a few years later the land totally reclaimed itself. The alder trees sprouted up, grasses and weeds have come in and a pond that had been dry for years now has water in it. It’s like it never happened.
Mother nature kicked ass.
– art and words by Yolanda Mason
"I went to see the London premiere of Damon Albarn's opera, which is a kind of, er, hybrid, between the ancient Buddhist story of Monkey and the cartoon that was made about it in the 70s: done as a Chinese opera; with acrobats; sung in Mandarin...
Normally you can get away with a bit of nuttiness in opera because they just have amazing voices, but doing an opera where people can't really sing that well and they're mainly acrobats is really a bit risky.
So things started to go wrong almost immediately. At one point everyone vanished from the stage except a lone acrobat on a flying wire. He was left hanging so he started swaying his arms around, trying to look like he was supposed to be there while the orchestra kept repeating the same little refrain over and over, just adding to the tension.
Eventually a little hand appeared from behind the curtains and tried to grab one of the acrobat's legs; but the wires were stuck so he was just swinging half-off then back onto the stage. After a while he was just dropped to the floor.
The best part though was the screens. Because it's all sung in Mandarin there are huge screens at the sides of the stage displaying translated lyrics – these were quite mad anyway, telling Monkey to protect his sperm and things like that. So these screens suddenly start freaking out and instead of the lyrics they're coming up with
G-G-G-G-G-G, F-F-F-F-F-F-, E-E-E-E-E-E, O-O-O-O-O....
then: ctrl+alt+Delete
And then the Windows operating screen appeared! Someone's desktop with a little file labelled 'Monkey' on it and they were clicking away furiously trying to get it open.
It vanished eventually but it was dead funny, right in the middle of this mad opera and everybody's there, Graham Coxon, Alex James – all the indie royalty.
The whole ordeal lasted two hours and two glasses of wine cost £11. It was funny and entertaining, but probably for the wrong reasons. I kept thinking of Damon Albarn properly freaking out backstage, and Alex James just sitting there at the front thinking 'You split Blur up for this?'"
– anonymous
Wheel Me Out is independently published online once a month (or so). Join our mailing list and we'll tell you when new interviews are ready.
EDITOR
Ananda Pellerin
editorial@wheelmeout.com
ART DIRECTOR
Victoria Ford
arteditorial@wheelmeout.com
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT
Daniel Penfold
Cristiana Bedei
Cristiana is a 23-year-old Italian girl living in London. she has a BA in Art History from the University of Siena, and while finishing her studies she's been writing for online magazines and working as an artists' consultant.
John Ellingsworth
John runs an online circus magazine, Sideshow, and writes on circus and theatre for various other publications. He trains corde lisse.
Melissa Osborne
Melissa is a London-based freelance writer. She has contributed to Dazed & Confused, Another Man, i-D Magazine and Record Collector. She is currently working as a researcher and archivist for Professor Germaine Greer.
CONTRIBUTORS: Sue Balint, Luke Cooper, Alex Fitch, Michael Garrad, James Hardy, Hannah Lack, Sarah Lightman, Yolanda Mason, Chiara Milan, Alex Naylor, Lynette Niles, Ted Niles, Matt Rowe, Luke Seomore, Safy Sniper, Cigna Spine, Hayley Watchorn, Carissa Welton
SPECIAL THANKS: Jambai, East Village Radio
NO THANKS: Internet Explorer
